Monkey Queen Moon Man Arrested

A man has been arrested for training his pet macaque monkey to moon at the Queen. Reg Thompson, 52, owner of Thompson’s Pet Emporium in Ripon, North Yorks, admitted to several counts of animal cruelty and intent to affront Her Majesty in public. During the visit of the King of Tonga in December last year,┬áMr […]

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Spring is sprungeth?

It’s so nice outside, and here we are stuck in the office like pallid, spineless, sun-shy WORMS! Worms, fit only to be crushed underfoot! Worms, writhing in our own putrid, slimy juices! Worms, blindly feeling our way in the suffocating gloom! Worms, callow, feckless, useless worms, gormless, spineless, WORTHLESS WORMS!

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Vampire Hamsters Attack Churchgoers

A nest of vampiric hamsters has been found in the basement of a church in Salem, Massachussetts. Churchgoers at the Tabernacle Church had been complaining for months about “scratching” and “scuttling” noises coming from beneath the pews. Local pest control experts Extermico were called in to investigate and entered the church basement which had been […]

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