Posted by: Nick Walters | October 22, 2007

The One With…

“The one with the giant maggots”; “the one with Bertie Bassett”; “the one where he changes into that bloke from Blue Peter…” Such is the way Doctor Who is often, and often incorrectly, remembered by the general public, so fan lore goes.

I thought I’d apply this vague Sun-reader man-in-pub anecdotal approach to the new series.  And thus:

  • The one with the shop window dummies
  • The one with the bum-headed blue dwarf
  • The one with Charles Dickens and some ghosts
  • The one with the farting aliens
  • The one with the gold Darlek
  • The one with him off of Spaced
  • The one where Rose fucks up and me missus cried
  • The one with Victor Meldrew and “are you my mummy?”
  • The one where they go out on the piss in Cardiff
  • The one with the robot Ann Robinson
  • The one with loads of Darleks where he changes into that bloke off of Casanova
  • The one where it’s Christmas and he’s in his pyjamas
  • The one with them cat nuns
  • The one with the CGI werewolf
  • The one where Sarah and K-9 come back
  • The one where he snogs that fit bird who was Lady Penelope
  • The one where Trigger invents the Cybermen
  • The shit one
  • The one with the Devil
  • The one with that old bint off Eastenders
  • The one with Peter Kay in a fat suit
  • The one with loads of Darleks and Cybermen and Rose leaves and me missus cried
  • The one with Catherine Tate in a wedding dress
  • The one where he meets that black bird on the Moon
  • The one where he meets him off of Shameless as Shakespeare
  • The one with the traffic jam in space
  • The one with those pig things, her off of Spooks and some Darleks
  • The one with that crap CGI monster
  • The one in space with her off of Eastenders getting all sweaty
  • The one where he becomes human and does that bird off of Spaced and me missus cried
  • The one with them statue things
  • The one where I Claudius is the Master
  • The one where him off of Life on Mars is the Master
  • The one where he turns into Gollum and that black bird leaves
  • The one with Kylie on the Titanic
  • The one with the little Teletubby monsters
  • The one with that cunt out of The Thick Of It
  • The one where Lord Percy turns into a Ood
  • The one where Bernard Cribbins is trapped in a car
  • The one where Dr Who sets fire to the sky, for fuck’s sake
  • The one where he’s got a daughter, except she isn’t
  • The one with Agatha Christie and a giant wasp, no, fuck knows what they on by now

A worthwhile exercise, I’m sure you’ll all agree.

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Responses

  1. You forgot “The one where that soppy vet is the Doctor an’ all”.


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